PLAYING THE GAME / ATTITUDE

HOW TO HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

So many men and woman when they are going out to attract other people have the attitude that they need to prove themselves to the other person.  They work on flash openers or make up a story about a life they have that just does not exist.  Others imitate attitudes displayed by actors in their favorite movies but that only makes them look fake, it is funny the first couple of times then it is carried on too far and just appears weird.  Now before we get into the attitudes that do work lets cancel out the ones that do not.

Lust - I cannot wait to get them home and show what a good lover I am!  Hey do not laugh many people men especially and some women go out with the one thought on their mind and that has to get the first person they see, whether they are attracted to them or not home and into bed.  Yes, it works my brother can tell you that, but is that all you want?  There is not art in this and has no value or rewards.  This is one of the attitudes that cause freeze time (not knowing what to say next) and creates, a hit and miss situation.

Despair – I have tried everything I hope this works!  Will you please talk to me?  Walk all over me I am so lonely.  Again, I can hear people laughing but everywhere I go I see people like this, grabbing the crumbs from the floor.  This attitude severely lowers your social standing and you will probably spend a fortune on drinks and still end up nowhere.

Anger – This better work I have done everything right, read all the right books, and spent hours watching DVDs.  Those people better treat me with respect and do what I tell them too or stay out of my way.  This world owes me a break.  This attitude will also lower your social value and alienate you from everyone.

Desperation – I have to make this work.  It is my last chance and my life is worthless without someone to love me.  This attitude keeps you on a permanent low and deep in quicksand with no hope of escape.

All these attitudes when allowed to rule who you are, destroy all the good.  They will shut down your thinking process and quickly diminish any positive energy you had and any chance you might have had to form a connection with anyone else.  They are like a black hole that sucks the energy out of your space and anyone that is exposed to you, socially alienating you, from the rest of the world that are around you.

Now the attitudes that can help you become the person you want to be, will make you glow, over flowing your positive energy into your space and the world around you, leaving everyone that comes in contact with you in a feeling of euphoria ( a intense feeling of great happiness or well being) .  Instead of feeling you have to prove something to them, it allows you to relax gain control of any given situation.  It truly puts you in control and allows you to enjoy the wonders and mysteries around you.

Playful – Go out with the attitude your there to have fun, tell jokes, laugh, dance, flirt for no apparent reason and enjoy meeting new people.  Leave everyone you meet feeling happy to have met you and talked to you.  Be the person others want to be and be around, and the first person that is invited to a party.

Learning – Be a good listener, take mental notes, and remember what people tell you.  Pay honest attention to what others are saying.  This turns the tables and allows you to be yourself and others the opportunity to show you that they have the qualities you are looking for, this in turn raises your social value and puts you in the position of being in control (alpha).  It gives you the opportunity to learn what others have to offer, allow you to be approached, and in turn increases your social skills.  Those around you have to meet your merits and standards removing the social pressure that is usually placed on you.

Indifference – What I mean by this is instead of putting all your energy into scoring that perfect 10, go out with the attitude to have fun.  Life is a game where the only rules are set by you and the only limits are your abilities.  So allow yourself the option to just walk away if things start to sour, do not get trapped into someone else's bad mood, stay in your zone.  This also eliminates any possible negatives and creates that fear of loss in others to the point that they will approach you.

Moderation – Have fun and enjoy the atmosphere around you.  Do not be overpowering as most of the time this is a big turnoff, be yourself.  All too often, I see people going overboard in what they do.  Trying to be too funny, cocky or over playing the clown and you see the reactions in the faces of those around them.  Also, do not get into power drinking games as when you get drunk you lose your edge.  Drink in moderation or drink soft-drink show that you can have fun and be responsible.

These four qualities will put you in a high social standing and build a good reputation, to which takes a long time to build yet seconds to destroy.  Also, surround yourself with positive people this will help raise your energy levels and help you to maintain them.  One lesson I have learnt so often if you stop looking for it, it will find you.  Now just remember your P.L.I.M. and have a ball.

PLAYING THE GAME / FINDING THE ZONE

FINDING THE ZONE

The arena of the game is very seductive; it is where we battle in single combat against ourselves.  It is a contest of champions: where empires hang in the balance and, once you enter the arena you decide whether to stand by and watch or be involved in the action - where you can emerge a god- or become the vanquished , so it is very understandable why it creates a great deal of anxiety.  Your zone refers to a place where you are able to perform at your best, sometimes referred to a state but for this purpose, I prefer zone because it gives you a destination to reach.

The elite PUA’s always try to perform at this level, but many people find it hard and when they do attain this level, it is nearly impossible for them to be able to retain focus.  Therefore, I will give you some pointers for getting into your zone and staying there.  There are four basic section to attaining your zone and each person finds their own path there differently but the basics are the same: Assessment, Preparation, Conduct and Implementation.

MOTIVATION and FOCUS to reach your goal your motivation must be pure, you have to visualize the outcome and decide for yourself, do I really want this?  To succeed at anything, you must work hard, be highly motivated, stay consistent, and have a solid focus on your goal.  The most powerful motivation is intrinsic - being or relating to a semiconductor in which the concentration of charge carriers is characteristic of the material itself instead of the content of any impurities it contains and comes from within, formed from the love of what you are doing.  To keep you motivation focused it is important that your target goals are yours, not your friends, your family or anyone else’s.  It has to be what you want most of all with no other outside influence.

Realize that when your motivation drops and your relationship with “Playing The Game” drifts, you cause a turbulence within.  Your self-esteem and your energy diminish slowly at first, then plummets with increasing speed, the harder you try to recover the quicker you sink.  This is the quicksand effect and nearly impossible to come back from, everything continues to go wrong no matter what you do, but it can be done and this I will talk about later.  To stay in the zone it is important to keep your motivation and focus pure.  That is why it is very important not to be a power drinker; this attitude is for when you are away from the public’s eye with your mates.  If you have to drink, do it in moderation although this will not impress your mates it does wonders for raising your social levels and they are important.

CONFIDENCE: To reach your zone your confidence level must be at its highest.  To do this you have to be prepared and be certain you have done what is required to reach your goal.  Do you look your best?  Is your home base prepared?  Have you decided how you are going to play the game?  Where are you going?  How are you getting their?  If you are, using props are they ready to go.  Have you researched your hunting ground?  Do you have sufficient funds with backup put away in a safe place?  Are you flying solo or do you have a wingman or woman?  Did you call them to make sure they are ready?  Make a checklist and cross off each one as it is completed.  All this helps, to be sure that you are ready to party and have a stress free fun time.  Because when you are having fun, the confidence will flow.  It is always important to have your confidence overflowing, this makes your aura glow giving off a positive outlook to others, and in turns affect the people you meet.  These positive interactions work to increase the flow of confidence working in a never-ending circle.  It is most important that you are as prepared as possible to keep this exchange and flow in continual motion.  How would you feel if someone came up to you before you even reach your destination and told you how good you look?  Instantly you are walking on air and feel like you own the world.

VISUALIZATION and RELAXATION: This is when you sit back and see in your mind how it will happen.  Be positive, sit back, and put on your favorite music, picture your perfect woman standing there looking you up and down .She walks up to you and you say the perfect opener, she smiles and replies.  Then you continue sweeping her off her feet making a connection.  While you are talking, you pause briefly to touch her hand or push back that piece of hair that fell across her face and she again smiles at you her eyes telling you you are the greatest thing that ever happened to her.  Asking about her life, you show honest interest and tell her small pieces about yourself.  Everything goes perfect.  Do this a couple of times with different scenarios so you are prepared for anything that might happen then sit back and think happy thoughts, slowing down your breathing and relax allow your mind to drift into a positive plan.  More than often, the reason, why people loss their zone is because they panic so by allowing time to relax this should be prevented also the airtime (those blank moments when you cannot think of anything to say) is eliminated, because you have gone over what you want to say beforehand.

Another good way of doing this is to use the rubber band technique.  Write down a scenario and then read it back a couple of times.  Let your mind drift and feel the feelings you get when you successfully completed a set.  Remember, those feelings of euphoria, how energy exploded through every part of your body, and you felt like you were a god.  Now get a rubber band, put on your wrist, read the story again, and let your mind drift experience the rush.  When the energy builds and reaches maximum levels, flick the rubber band.  Each time do the same thing read the story and remember the feeling now just before the flick calm your breathing and think of other ways that you could use and obtain the same if not a better result…do this several times.  Then just before you walk in your chosen venue snap the rubber band, remember that high, slow down your breathing, and relax still letting the feelings flood your mind and body.

Now before you go out and take on the world I have a bonus for you.  Have you ever heard of B.A.T.N.A. (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement), well this is used more commonly in business deals but works very effectively in playing the game.  It is the development of variable alternatives where your initial goal is but only one.  It is used as leverage, for it gives you the ability to just walk away.  That can be used to produce a fear of loss in your target and if timed right (on a high point in the contact) it creates a situation where she will now want to follow and be with you, not wanting to lose that feeling and connection.  It will take practice to recognize when you are in this position but when you do it becomes a very powerful tool. 

You will also find with practice that you do not even have to physically walk away.  Sometimes it is enough merely to change your attention from them to another person.  This then, forces them to compete for your attention.  Placing them in a situation where they have to impress you.  Increasing your social value, you instantly transform from the hunter to the trophy.  However, be careful because as I said it becomes a powerful tool, and has been known to create God complexes.

PLAYING THE GAME / THE MASTER'S SECRETS

SECRETS REVEALED

Now, I will reveal to you the secret of the MASTERS.  The one main thing that separates the creators from the watchers is ************ CONFIDENCE************** It is the one thing that sets the Masters on a podium staring down on those that think it is impossible.  Nothing is impossible; you just have to break things down into smaller jobs and then face each one as a stepping-stone to the next.  As you attempt each one, look at the positive aspects of what you did and expand on them.  Then before you know it your running down hill jumping over any obstacles that remain, at top speed and crossing the finish line, to the cheers of all those around you.

The best way to build confidence is to surround yourself with positive influences.  Friends, family, and the people you associate with all have an affect on how you deal with life’s obstacles and this in turn decides your level of confidence.  When you are surrounded by negative people, whose favorite word is “can’t,” then your confident level goes down.  Whereas if you are around people that push you to succeed though repeating the task, and helping you by pointing out your positive achievements with each attempt .Then with each attempt your confidence rises and success is inevitable.  This positive aspect is something that with a short amount of time you learn to do for yourself, no longer needing the recognition of others.  Confidence is generally described as a state of being.  The first task to do, is slow down do not rush into things.  Everything will come into place if you do not force it.  When you hurry, things compact together and appear larger than they really are.  Your mind goes into a panic mode and your body becomes tense and clumsy.  Again, if you look at any of the seduction masters, they all follow the three C’s.  ************COOL CALM and in CONTROL*********

Wherever they are, they appear to own their space and control the spaces around them.  They do not set time limits or try to make themselves fit into others schedules.  If you have ever fired a rifle, you can relate to what I am saying.  When hunting most of your time is spend watching and listening, then when you eye your chosen target you relax take aim then when everything falls into place you fire.  Giving it your best try and if by some chance the target eludes you.  You remember everything you did right and try again improving on your last attempt.  Well life is very similar if you rush in your more likely to stumble.  One idea I heard and thought was fantastic was to put a handful of coins in each pocket and walk.  If you hear, the coins jingle you are walking to fast and in time, you learn to slow everything down.  Amazingly, you begin to do things faster with more accuracy, the mistakes you made before disappear, and your confidence level rises.  This is because you no longer have to exert as much energy to reach your goal.  It appears easier so you are no longer afraid to try.

At times, I find it very educational to sit back and watch others, seeing how people react to different situations.  I even completed a study of wild horses, documenting how they react in the wild.  From these studies, I learnt a lot about human behaviors.  How people, women in particular relate to others entering the space (environment).  If another being raced in acting loud and threatening they automatically went into defense referred to as the flight mode.  They become restless, scared ready to run at a moment’s notice, if the danger continues to move closer.  Where as if the being strolled in showing little interest but still keeping open to interaction (showing interest without being forceful).  Then the initial feelings change to one of curiosity, to where instead of fleeing they welcomed interaction.  This same scenario happens everywhere, people are always in too much of a hurry to get things done, and they miss the enjoyment of interaction and are unable to make a connection.  This all happens within a minutes of the initial meeting, yet is one of the most important parts of the game.  Once you can constantly make that initial connection you relax and your confidence and social value skyrockets.

The next step is the conversation, the biggest mistake made here is people become robotic shooting off a series of simple questions one after the next:

 Do you come here often?

 Can I buy you a drink?

 What do you do for fun?

 Do you have a boy friend?

Sometimes it appears like they are speed dating.

These things have been said a million times before and they will probably hear at least once a day.  This is where you have to be inventive and show honest interest in what they are saying, keep the connection going.  You must learn to flirt, behave carelessly or indifferently.  The art of flirting is not as difficult to master as some make it seem.

Here are a few starters to get you going if not put you on top:

1) Have fun with it, be relaxed.  Do not put pressure on yourself to go up to someone at a party, bar or anywhere else with the assumption that you are going to make them fall madly and passionately in love with you.

2) To get yourself in the right state of mind, think happy playful thoughts.  Flirting is a playful child like game, have fun, and be cheeky, naughty, and cocky.

3) Make eye contact but do not stare, as it will freak her out, infrequent two second looks is sufficient.  Do not wink at someone you have not connected with as it could scare them and will give away your game.

4) Don’t forget to smile, smiling makes your eyes twinkle helping you appear more attractive and helps relax those around you.[BR] Practice smiling in the mirror ,think of something funny .  A true smile lights up your whole face and curls both the sides of your mouth upwards, people can quickly tell if you are faking.

5) Don’t use age-old pickup lines they have been overused and worn out e.g. your dad must have been an astronaut because he took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.  Girls hear these lines every day, if you have to use a pickup line, invent some of your own, and be original.

6) Be confident, this means to have a relaxed stance and remember your as good as anyone else in the room.  You need to be seen as the person that others are drawn to, and want to party with and have a good time.

7) Developed a connection, this should occur within the first couple of minutes.  Try to find a common interest that you both enjoy.

8) Don’t make sexual comments to someone you just met, people will think your crude and it will give your game away.

9) After your initial connection remember your keno (light brushing touches on the hand, arm, shoulder, and small of the back) and lower your voice to draw them closer into your zone.  Lean slightly towards them as you talk, then back slightly away to encourage them to subconsciously, enter your zone.  If you are sitting opposite them at a table, lightly brush their leg with your foot then as if you did this completely by accident laugh and apologies.  Then shuffle your chair around closer to the explaining that you do not want to accidently kick them.

10) Don’t take yourself too seriously, if you are being cheeky to them you must allow them to be able to play along.  It shows strong character if you are able to laugh at yourself.

 11) Pay honest attention and interest to what they are saying, do not start a set with them, and then make it obvious that you are looking around the room for your next target

PLAYING THE GAME / SETTING UP YOUR PAD part 2

HOW TO GET YOUR PAD TO PLAYER STANDARD-part 2

Now "Hopefully" we have realized that your pad is an extension of you, where you are at, and where you are going.  So now we have to bring the pad up to where you are now .With the new and improved you, it is required a new and improved pad the best way to do this is go modern.  The main word in a modern bachelor pad is “MINIMALISM.”  Minimalism describes movements in various forms of art and design, especially visual art and music, where the work is stripped down to its most fundamental features.  This works well into a modern bachelor pad because it allows smaller places to appear a lot larger with plenty of room for movement and is easy to maintain.  For the living / social room the first item you need is a lounge sofa.  Throw the budget out for this one because it is the centrepiece of the whole house.  Do not go for the overstuffed version that appear comfortable because they are not, look for the more modern sleek style with enough room for friends at super bowl time from here you will pick decor that will orbit around it and some minimalist pieces that can be moved from room to room when required.  The main code to choosing furniture should be comfort, and this should be upmost in your mind.

When people begin to decide about decorating or changing a room they think of colors.  Generally, they will choose colors they are partial to or of which correspond to pieces of furniture.  When searching for ideas to decorate a bachelor pad.  One idea, which is nearly always overlooked, is to decorate with two basic colors black and white.

Black and white when used in decorating creates pizzazz.  Every room can use a little black, black is a color that anchors and grounds a room.  Adding sophistication, black is definitely a color that demands attention.  Black works to add definition to the room’s focal point.  Ideas for decorating a room using black may include accessories such as light fixtures, trim, or furniture.  Black is definitely one color that stands out and makes a statement.

With that said, we should now look at some pieces, which are essential to designing a pad that will be the place to be every Saturday night.



Living room

2224 Modern Contemporary Black Sectional Sofa

$1,795.00

Colton Entertainment Center

$293:00

Fine Quality High End Wedding Anniversary Gifts - 34" Japanese Mini Liquor Cabinet Wine Bar

$699:00

Faux Sheepskin Area Rug

$199:00

Sumo lounge Omni

$145:00

KITCHEN

Custom Kitchens by Small bone of Devises

BATHROOM

Some ideas from ISH Frankfurt 2009 exhibition.  Mirroring the whole wall makes up the bathroom so space full.

BEDROOM

socket site.com



Just to give and you an idea to start on …

When designing a modern interior, you should always look to the future.  The pieces should be moveable and blend in with any room, without sacrificing comfort or style.  Most importantly, they should have masculine qualities yet retain the sleek modern appeal.  This combination will give it its power, sexuality, and youthful charm.  The traits well related to millionaire playboys. 

Always have your pad as close as possible to the popular haunts, bars, shopping areas and launderette.

PLAYING THE GAME/ WARDROBE

HOW TO LOOK LIKE YOU OWN THE WORLD

A man’s wardrobe should contain the basic elements of power, suit, dress shirt, and tie.  These are the foundation of power dressing and a must if you want to make a powerful impression.  Most people are drawn to powerful people like a moth to light; it automatically draws attention and curiosity.  Imagine walking into a room of strangers dressed in a black tailored single-breasted suit, a freshly ironed shirt, deep red silk tie and clean polished shoes.  Instantly every woman and man will look in your direction wondering who you are what you do and where is your private jet and yacht is parked.  Before you even open your mouth you are already a big leap above the rest, and your value, which I will talk about later on, is thru the roof, this is what is referred to as peacocking.

Buying a suit is the most important decision you will make, it is an investment in your social standing.  Some people might suggest a suit from the gray or blue family but my advice is to go black, it is the color of mystic and power.  If you do not wear a suit, every day two would be sufficient but if you wear, a suit every day the best idea is to have one for every day of the week.  You should also have a dark blue blazer or sports coat and a pair of grey dress pants.  If your budget does not cover the cost to have one tailored, then there are a few things you should look for when buying a suit.

 To make sure it fits properly:

A) The sleeve should taper down to just above the wrist, so the shirts cuff extends a thumb width beyond the jackets sleeve.

B) The length of the leg of your pants should touch the top of your shoe at the front and angle back to stop just above the heel.

C) Whether it has cuff or not is a personal choice.

D) Always, purchase the best suit your budget can afford.

In formal wear, a suit can conjure up images that can help you succeed not only in your private life but also in business.  A suit can give you the image of some or all of the following: POWER, STYLE, SEX APPEAL, SOCIAL STATUS, AND MATURITY.

STYLE: Now man’s fashions are constantly changing but you can never go wrong with a single-breasted suit in whole colors like black, grey, and dark blue.  A single-breasted suit also has the advantage of hiding that developing beer gut.

FABRIC From my own experiences wool is the best fabric, it look smart and wears well.  Worsted wools are lightweight and perfect for hotter months.  The fibers are tightly woven and it is more wrinkle resistant than other fabrics.  Worsted wool can look as fresh and polished at the end of the night as it did when you first put it on.  It wears well and lasts longer than other fabrics making it a first choice for business wear.  Gabardine wool is another good choice although traditionally wool, you can now find it in polyester or polyester blends and again it is wrinkle resistant but not as shiny as worsted wool so it is a good choice for colder times.

SHIRT The collar of a shirt can help change the appearance of a man’s face, a man with a long face can wear a collar that is wider to help broaden his face, and a man with a round face can wear a thin collar to help lengthen their face.  Colors are a personal choice but you can never go wrong with plain white as it goes with everything.  Another good color is blue either dark or light but only a man that is full of confidence should wear bright pink and yes I have seen it done and it looked fantastic.  However, do not be afraid of color for nothing radiates confidence and style more than rich jewel tones and soft pastels.  They also are an excellent choice to brighten up a casual pair of trousers choosing a bright color or a bold pattern cuffs are another style consideration, button cuffs give a casual appearance while French and barrel are more formal.  French cuffs require cuff links, a beautiful and traditional accessory to a man’s wardrobe Dress shirts come in various styles and fabrics, polyester blends and cottons are considered casual and are more appropriately worn with jeans.  Whereas silks and linens are considered more formal and often seen worn under the jackets of fine Italian suits.  Once you choose a shirt from the rack try it on, button it all the way up and make sure the buttons are well spaced.  You should be able to put two fingers between the collar and your neck.  Bend your arms to make sure the shirt sleeves are long enough and do not rise away from your wrist, it also should not go past them when your arms are down.  Make sure the cuffs are snug and that the shirt is not too tight across the chest or back.  One thing you have to be careful with is that most shirts shrink when you wash them so you want one that is slightly larger in size and again always buy the best quality your budget can afford, it is always better to have a couple of good dress shirt for times when you really want to impress.

TIE Choosing a tie is not as hard as it might seem, black is a neutral color, and goes with most colors, but do not be scared to experiment.  Some people choose ties to match their eyes, others choose shades slightly darker than their shirts but not as dark as their suit.  When wearing a white shirt and a dark suit experiment with bold and bright colors to show power and adventure.  It is true what they say a man’s accessories tell a story about the man.  Give a lot of thought to your tie as you do not want this little detail to ruin your whole appearance and my favorite fabric for ties is silk …

SOCKS Choose cotton socks, these allow your feet to breath and the color should match what you are wearing, there is nothing worse than a pair of white socks and dark pants.

SHOES: Again, these should be the best that your budget allows, and should be kept clean and polished.  More than often people have pointed someone out to me that was wearing old worn out shoes that were not cared for and it really brings the social status down.  A pair of Black and a pair of brown dress shoes from a name brand company is the best choice as they go with everything and look smart.  Make sure they are well made, comfortable and sturdy.

CASUAL For the casual moments a couple of pair of trade name jeans boot cut and a couple of pairs of slacks these work well with dress shirts to give you a uptown casual appeals, A pair of comfortable joggers kept in good condition and a pair of dress boots.  A couple of pairs of shorts, if you have the legs for them and some plain tea-shirts.  Keep all your casual wear in good condition.  Those old faithful that are so comfortable throw them out.

ACCESSORIES:  These are everything you get to make your style your own.  Experiment until you have your own look but always remember to push your social status up not bring it down this does not mean you cannot have fun.  People love to be around people that can be serious when needed but also know there is a time and place to have fun

PLAYING THE GAME/ FINDING YOUR SIGNATURE SCENT

FINDING YOUR SIGNATURE COLOGNE

What this means by this is to find the scent which best compliments you.  Growing up, I honestly did not put much thought into this I used whatever was available.  However, as time passed I discovered that what I thought something smelt like in the bottle was completely different on the skin and what had a seductive scent on someone else was a disaster on me.  This has to do with the chemical makeup of our bodies, people with oily skin will hold scents longer so a lighter scent should be used, and dry skin absorbs the moisture in the cologne resulting in the fragrance evaporating more rapidly so a heavier cologne should be used.  Then we can go much deeper and look at the chemical makeup of your skin, which has variations in every person and affects the fragrance differently.  What we need to do to find your signature scent is to breakdown, who you are.  The reaction we are looking for is the same reaction you get when you walk down the street and someone is cooking something you like.  The scent catches the air and travels outwards.  When it reaches you several things happen, your brain sends signals all over your body.  Your nose switches, your mouth begins to produce saliva, your stomach makes rumbling noises, and you begin to search for when the smell originated.  Well this is what your cologne should do for you.  Much the same as a doe in heat attracts the buck women are attracted by certain scents and it would be a lot easier if they all were attracted by one scent but unfortunately, that does not happen, to the delight of fragrance makers.  Now there are many companies out there making colognes for men and each one will tell you theirs is best but the truth be known there is not one true scent that is better than all the rest.  You need to find the one that suits you and your life style.  Now there is three phases to a scent: First is of course the initial scent, this is what you smell when you first put it on (the fragrance of the cologne) Then there is the intermediate, as the moisture is absorbed or evaporated, the aroma is released.  This then combines two things, the combination of the cologne with the chemicals makeup of the skin, giving you a final stage of releasing the scent.  The most popular way of testing this is too spray or splash it on the skin but if your testing more than one they begin to clash or combine until you don’t know which one is which.  Another method is too put the cologne on cards, this is good for a starting spot but you still do not know what it will do when put on the skin.  My suggestion is take your time and every time you need to go to the store have a shower before hand and try on a different one each time.  Take a female friend with you or use it as an opener, asked someone if they could help you out and tell you if it has a pleasant scent to them.  In addition, remember colognes are potent one spray is quiet sufficient too much can be very overpowering and you could lose your desired effect.  The affect you want is silent and seductive, barely touching their senses so they are enticed to search for you.  As you walk quietly thru the room the delicate scent should linger briefly then fade away, turning the heads of all the women and becoming the senses to follow and find you not sting their eyes and burn their nostrils so they cannot breathe.  Here are some hints to help you on your adventure.  Never try out more than three scents at one time, your nose will become confuse with lingering scents of the ones before.  Now a fragrance is a combination of aromas referred to as notes, some may prefer to use a single note as in essential oils.  Others prefer a combination .It is a good idea to have a couple of different choices as for colder times you might require a stronger scent for to release a scent evaporation of moisture is required.  For the adventurous energetic and full of life a citrus base is popular, where as the secretive man of mystery oriental spices is the way to go.  Then we are left with the romantic Casanova the smell of beach forest and a bit flowery and finally the man of the world, business and formal look to a more woody scent base of sandalwood and /or musk.  Well now you have a starting spot the rest is up to you do not rush your decision and as time changes and you change your outlook so you should change your signature cologne

PLAYING THE GAME/ HAIRSTYLES

CHOOSING A HAIR STYLE

Hairstyle is the crowning part of man that can show his personality, it plays a large role in non-verbal communication and first appearance.  Man’s personality can be determined by what hairstyle he has and how often he changes it.

HIGH MAINTENANCE HAIR STYLES

High maintenance hairstyle means dyeing, styling, creating artistic hair and ever changing.  High maintenance hairstyle is time consuming and expensive, so a man with this hairstyle either has a lot of money or consumed with their outer appearance.  He usually spends a lot of time and money on clothes, shoes and other appearance so that he keeps with the latest fashion

SHORT TIDY HAIR
Short hair on a man can be interpreted as industrious, dependable, active and hard working

CHANGES HAIR STYLE OFTEN
He is adventurous, active man who has a lot of creativity

BALD
To go bald is one way of hiding hair loss, receding hair line or bald spot.  Is it sexy?  From what the girls tell me, yes.  However, not every man dares to go bald.  Hiding going bald is very common, but always hiding it everywhere he goes (wigs and/or hats), then he is ashamed of himself and insecure.  not wanting others to know his weakness

MOHAWK AND PUNK
Commonly worn by the young at heart.  A man that wears his hair like this breaks the rules and is rebellious desperately trying to hold on to his youth.  He loves to be notice, is anti-society, and has a sense of humor.


CHOOSING AND?  OR CHANGING HAIR STYLE

Over all changing your hairstyle is relatively cheaper than buying a new wardrobe and the first step to changing your lifestyle.  The first step to choosing a hairstyle is finding the right stylist and this could be as hard as finding your next girlfriend.  Have you ever had a bad haircut, if so then you know how disheartening and let down it makes you feel.  More than often, it is the barber or stylist to blame, but the blame can also lie with the client.  Having poor communication, bad attitude and unrealistic expectations plays a major part.  The next points will help you to have a better experience and help you to communicate with the person cutting your hair so you can get what best suit you.

(1) Most places that offer appointment usually have a high level of customer service, walk-in service is usually driven by value and appear more mechanical rushing thru haircuts to get as many done as possible.  Making an appointment may cost a little more to cover the loss but it allows the barber or stylist time to give more attention to detail.  It is a great idea to be slightly early for your appointment or to call in advance if you might be running late or cannot make it, respect and courtesy goes a long way.

(2) Be nice, your hair stylist is definitely on the list of people on my list that I do not want to piss off.  You should always show your stylist respect with a friendly attitude, even if it is only one way.  Your hair stylist can really ruin your day or for that matter your next 6 weeks.

(3) Find a stylist or barber that cuts your style well…This is the hardest part cause it is a rare occasion for men to be standing around discussing each other’s hair do’s , hey Robert your hair looks fabulous who does your hair.  Getting men to talk about hair is near impossible.  But the best way to find a barber who excels at the style you want is when you see a man with a similar hair cuts to your satisfaction asked him( hey man cool hair cut ..  Who cut it) He will consider it a step up for his status and you will find a stylist.

(4) Bring a photo; people and stylist almost always seem to be talking different languages.  If you want a certain hairstyle, bring a photo of it so your stylist can work out what you are after.  Most men for some reason are reluctant to take a photo but your stylist will appreciate it and will better understand what you are after.  Helping things to go more smoothly.

(5) Be realistic if you are not brad pit chances are you will not look good with his exact hairstyle.  Using a famous person as a idea to the style your after is fine but your stylist isn’t a plastic surgeon.  It’s important to understand their ability, certain hair styles goes with certain hair .Take a clipping with you of the style your trying to get and discuss with them your options, this is one of the reasons to be a bit early for your appointment.  If it is unrealistic, a good stylist will tell you so and make suggestions to what will work for you…

(6)  Don't be first or last, this I believe is self-explanatory.  Being the first of the day your stylist may not be a morning person and need time to settle in so they can give you their full focus and the same for the end of the day by this time they just want to go home or somewhere else they want to be.

(7) Listen to your stylist, they have been trained and are being paid to make you look good.  They know what styles are in and what will best suit your frame and enhance your good features.  Most men get the same hair cut every time they get it done.  Do not be afraid to experiment, you might be happily surprised.

(8) Last but definitely not least be a big tipper, this will give you a higher factor, and your stylist will go out of their way to meet your needs and remember you.  Get to know your stylist by being a regular customer.  This will change you from a customer to a special client and as the stylist get to know you, they will get a better idea of whom you are and what best suits your requirements.  Never go for more than 3 weeks between haircuts (if your hair is a bit longer you can extend this).  A rule of thumb is that when you leave the stylist you should never look like you just had your haircut.  If there is a white tan line on the back of your neck, you waited too long.  Also, check if the stylist does maintenance haircuts, some may offer free trims and neck shaves to regular customers.

MAINTAINING A HAIR STYLE

Regular haircuts is a major part but also talk to your stylist about different styling products.  A good stylist will take time to explain all the different products and how to use them.  In addition, what product will work best with your look?  Men will spend hours a day washing and polishing their car or truck but are reluctant to spend a few minutes to put some product in their hair.

Pay attention to your scalp, again ask your stylist about which products would be best for you.  A healthy scalp is most important for good looking hair and the right shampoo and conditioner will make all the difference.  A good shampoo and conditioner will add moisture and elasticity cleanse the hair and smooth the cuticles adding shine.

Avoid home chemical product as they severely damage and dry out the hair instead let a professional do it.  Again, they are trained to do it and will know what the best hair products to use are.  Do not use a brush on wet hair as it can be caught in your hair and stretch it to breaking point causing severe damage.  Instead use a wide toothcomb and gently comb out any knots.  Avoid blow dryers and irons as they dry out the hair.  Don’t wear tight hats or pony tails as long term use of them can pull out hair and weaken the cuticles

Keep it well trimmed the best way to get rid of damaged hair is to cut it off .so regularly trimming the hair make sure it strong and healthy.  To reduce fizz, which is mainly caused by a deficiency of moisture and protein use a good conditioner .reduce the heat in the shower, hot water can strip the hair of essential oils and cause dryness.

Stay healthy; your hair’s condition is a direct reflection of the state of your health.  Make sure you drink lots of water to remove any toxins in your body and hydrate your system, eat healthy, exercise, reduce stress and get enough sleep.

Hair comes from the scalp so to have healthy good-looking shiny hair make sure your scalp is clean and healthy.

PLAYING THE GAME/ STYLE

STYLE

Now what pictures flood the mind when someone says style?  Is it models, magazines, and advertisements?  Style is much more than how you cut your hair and what clothes you wear .Style is actually the way you express yourself, your thoughts ,feelings, interests and values.  It is a total combination of who you are expressed outwards.  Most people believe that when you change your style, you are just changing your outside appearance but if this is done, you are just putting on a mask anyone can go into a store and buy new and different clothing but that does not improve the person.  Only thru knowledge and learning can we improve ourselves.  Most of us can’t see the messages we are sending and its far beyond us to keep track of everything and when we do find out from overhearing others talking or a close friend or relative being honest, it’s far from what we believed.  Then there is the hidden messages put out by body language.  The messages we put out when where scared , angry , embarrassed , and sad .And last but not least the signals we put out when we ‘re being untrue to ourselves and others…  These things also affect your style, how you walk, talk, and react to others.  You need to be aware of these things if you truly want to improve the whole package.  The three things a player broadcast is Confidence, Cool and Control.  He is honest playful and interesting, like a moth to the flame people are drawn to him and he surrounds himself with positive people intensifying the light.  I honestly believe everyone has this inside them (charisma) the person everyone loves and is drawn to and I would love to take as many people along this path as I can.  We all have flaws and mannerism that make us unattractive but once we recognize them we have the power to change.

So now, let us break everything down:

GROOMING is something that forms a person’s first opinion of you (most of the time unconsciously).  A well-trimmed man dressed in clean tidy clothes and polished shoes against a man who has dirty hair unwashed clothes and sneakers.  The first man appears more important and gives off an image of confidence and power.  We look at women the same way, a women who is clean and well dressed is more appealing than one that appears to need her hair washed and clothes that need to be thrown out .Judgments are made by everyone, every second whether it is conscience or not.  We are programmed by everything we see and hear to accept a certain way and make decisions whether they are healthy and advantageous or unhealthy and harmful.

CLOTHING: What you wear makes up 60% of peoples first impression of you and carries thru the start of your conversation.  There are messages projected thru specific clothing that you must learn in order to make a positive influence.  What you wear can emphasize what you are saying, giving it a stronger sense of truth.  If you met, a person highly groomed wearing a well-fitted suit and carrying a briefcase and said he was a high-class lawyer would you believe him (probably) What if the man had dirty clothes torn sneakers and no socks .Clothing does not make the man but it is sure a good foundation.

NON-VERBAL: According to many studies, most of our conversations with people are non-verbal.  From the moment, you see each other signals are being sent.  How you walk, stand, and sit gives off messages to the people around you.  Imagine someone came storming into a bar, pushing over chairs and thumping his hand down on a table, then he is asked ,”how he is feeling.” and he grunts ,”fine!” would you believe him.  Probably not, but if the same person strolled in with a smile and was shaking every ones hand, then that is a different story.  People will make up their mind about you long before you open your mouth.  Which scene would show you as a confident happy fun loving person that people are drawn to, someone standing with a beer trying to look cool looking around as if he stole the last cookie or someone laughing and goofy around not caring what others thought and having a ball?  Besides your appearance the way you say something is also part of the non-verbal conversation .The tone, pitch and volume of your voice also play a large part.  A person with a loud voice can appear insensitive and domineering, they must talk louder than anyone else to be understood and listened to must.  Where as a person with a soft voice may appear shy and insecure, not sure, if what they are saying is important.  At least these could be the messages the person they are meeting receives.

BRANDS AND REPUTATIONS: It takes a lot of hard work to build a good reputation even a self-brand and a mere second to destroy it.  Your brand or label is the code key of how much influence you have in any situation.  Let us say I told a room that you were executive that just sealed an international contract for your company that you created people would listen to your every word.  Then the next time I said you were a con artist that just embezzled the company’s retirement fund.  Your reputation is the foundation of who you are protect it above all else.  People will believe anything someone tells them about you at first, and then information gathered thru your conversation will determine whether it will be retained or thrown away.

PASSION AND LIFESTYLES: What our passions are in life, determine the lifestyle we live.  Whether your passion is the wildlife full of adventure or securities, calm and concise.  Your passions are projected thru your lifestyle.  It takes a lot less work to change who you are compared to lying about it because no matter what lies you tell, people will already have enough information to work out who you are no matter what you say.  Never underestimate others because eventually the truth will surface .There is an old saying “you can fool some of the people some of the time but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”  This is a point that cannot be stressed enough.  Even the slightest action can give people a clue of who you are; if you open the door for someone, how you react around children, and even how you drink and eat all give other a look into your soul.  Now why would you want these at your best possible level?

CONFIDENCE: If you can see the path ahead and the sun is shining, you will shine and everything that is not at your level merely leaves room to grow.  To feel the true energy of life, that rush when everything falls in place and nothing is impossible.  Happiness comes from a good self-esteem and the closer we get to that perfect perception of ourselves the more we like ourselves creating a spiral that surges upwards.  To truly become that shining light for everyone to see.  The secret to this is not to settle for what your life is but push forward to it can be, by working every day to improve yourself