LEARN TO BE A PLAYER

LEARN TO BE A PLAYER

THE GAME IS NOT ABOUT RUNNING SCRIPTS.  THESE ARE GOOD FOR BEGINNERS, ALTHOUGH  IT WOULD BE A LOT EASIER IF YOU COULD PLAN A CONVERSATION FROM A –Z BUT IT JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN AND WITH EVERYONE OUT THERE NOW USING ONE LINERS ITS NO LONGER AN ADVANTAGE.  YOU NEED TO DEVELOP THE SKILLS THAT PUTS YOU ABOVE THE REST AND MAKES YOU A MASTER OF EVERY SITUATION.

So let us escape the computer-generated conversations and away from all that theories on what you have to do to form a connection.  To make a difference in your life you need to find out who you are and what you really want.  Let us work on the skills that you already have and will make you stand out in the crowd so others want to form a connection with you.  Social value is the secret, it is the importance others place on you.  The higher social value the more popular you will be and the more fun you will have.

The first thing you need to learn is “active listening”.  This is where you learn to analyze what others are actually saying.  You do this by noticing their body language:

1. Do they keep eye contact- shows if they are interested in the conversation
2. Are they fidgeting- un-interested looking for an escape
3. Is their laughter real- fake laughter is used to tell people to go away
4. Are they displaying grooming characteristics- this gives off many unspoken messages that an experience person can interpret and use to their advantage ( light brush of the hair , touching of the chin, loosening or correcting of clothing are signs of attraction)

The secret is not to rely on a few observations but instead combine this with what is being said.  The code is there and is simple once you learn the basics.  However, this is only a start and not the total of active listening, active listening is to be truly interested in what your target is saying and finding the connection with this that draws you closer to them.  Keep your comments in the beginning short and to the point.  Learn what excites them by watching their eyes as the conversation progress.  When they are on a subject they really find interesting their pupils will enlarge. This is referred to as having stars in their eyes, as the light will reflect off their pupils giving a gleaming appearance.  Make your comments count, its great to have intelligent things to say but if it’s irrelevant to the conversation and the person you’re speaking to, then you’re likely to bore them and lose the connection you have worked so hard to form.  Do not appear desperate or lost in their conversation as this will lower your social value and raise theirs making the need for you to work harder.  Let them try to impress you and fight for your attention not the other way round.  Do not be rude if you must use a negative comment to take control of the situation be playful.  This is a game so have fun with it.

Respond to what and how they say things copy their reactions but do not mimic them, unless it is very playful and flirty in an attempt to guide the conversation in a direction you want it to go.  Again only part of how we communicate is through the words we say, the rest of how a person is feeling is communicated through their body language, and tone, and pitch of voice.  Ok for an example - you start taking to a girl about today’s fashion and how it has changed over the years (a topic that is stereotyped as something girls are interested in) during the conversation she noticeably shortens her answers to you, she constantly looks away and her voice seems tenser, this is a solid indication that it’s time to change topic. Likewise if you stumble across a topic you think would bore her sports, cars, or the camping trip you went on last weekend  and her eyes light up, then you can throw the rule book out of the window, and chat to her about this as you’ve obviously hit on a topic which forms a connection.  Although I always tell guys to read girls magazines to give them an idea of what’s in and what’s out and vice versa.  Another important factor, is when you are talking to them, talk to them.  This may sound funny but I watch as many people are talking to someone while they are checking out the room for the next target.  This to me is my opening and I step in and steal them away, right from under the other person’s nose.

Always notice how they respond to you and what you say.  Are they interested in your comments or do you briefly lose them every time you open your mouth, another point is the initial conversation, now let’s say that you have this cheeky and funny one liner and it always seems to crack people up.  So you walk up to a person you are interested in and use it as your opener.  Unlike all the others, they just stare at you and pull a sour expression.  Do you poke them in the ribs, with a wink, and say funny ha!  or do you realize your mistake and quickly change the subject as this line just isn’t going to work in this situation or do you shut up and blend back into the shadows and escape.  This is an eternal question that requires quick thinking to gain control. My advice would be the second.  Spot the mistakes do some correcting and move on.  Never dwell on negatives as the object is to portray the positive aspects of your character.  At the end of the day, you want the positive aspects of your character to stay on their mind.  As this is what will form a connection with them not the one-liners that they will hear over and over again.  The reason these once worked is because they were original now every man and his monkey uses them.

So learning lines, routines, and rules for dating is now outdated.  Great dating and seduction is not found from the computer-generated garble; but rather in your ability to quickly connect with people in that first moment of interaction.  You cannot run the risk of stereotyping or generalizing people, people react best when you learn how to relate to them as individuals and they will respect you more when you are yourself.  Failure comes from trying to hard the secret to success is the three Cs. ( Cool, Calm and in Control)

TIPS FOR GETTING INTO EXCLUSIVE CLUBS

GETTING INTO EXCLUSIVE CLUBS

Walking past any top night club late at night and you'll see long lines of hopeful clubbers trying to get lucky and gain entry into the nightspots that are extremely difficult to enter unless you're in the know, beautiful and famous or both.  The key is to always turn up early, most people wait until party hour to hit the streets but this is a big mistake unless your part of the in crowd and if you are, why are you reading this article.  The secret is to get there early talk to the door staff and form a connection.  By making, a great impression on them doubles your chances of getting back in later.  In addition, make friends with the bar staff, always drink the same drink so they get to know you and tip big.  This will always get their attention and will help later that night when everyone is shuffling for drinks they will remember you and rush to serve you in hopes of another big tip.  How impressive is walking, up to a full bar and nodding to a person behind the bar and instantly receive your drink, immediately everyone turns to you and wonders whom this mysterious person could be. 

Then a few hours before rush time tell them you need to go but you will be back and could they let you back in when they get there.  It also helps to look the part.  Take notice of who gets in and how these people dress and act as this will be beneficial when deciding your look.  Most nightclubs have a set theme for their patrons and if you can fit this theme, your chances of getting in increase highly.  You need to be sure that your look turned out perfectly, so that when the muscle-bound person on the door gives you a once over he will not ignore you and let someone behind you in.  This again is why you need to get to know the door personal; most people who stand in lines do not get in.  If possible, organize with them to allow you to walk past the line, straight up to the door and gain entry this pushes up your social value.  Social value is how others score you and adds to your attractive attributes.  Never openly tip a door personas this works against you to others, what you is for others to see you gain entry in front of the common crowd.

Preparation is the secret to success when you roll up at the exclusive club of your dreams, so give yourself an ample amount of time to prepare rather than racing home from work and slapping on any old garb before racing out the door.  Think strongly on what persona you wish to express and dress to impress those you wish to attract.  Shower and groom properly, make sure you have whiter than white smile as this will improve your looks.  A decent tan with well-manicured hands will complement that nicely (http://davedlemere.blogspot.com/2010/09/playing-game-male-grooming.html).  Wearing the right trinkets can also make a big difference on how a door attendant will perceive you.  That means you can forget the replica rings, tacky piercings and earrings unless the rocks in them are the real thing.  There is nothing worse than cheap-looking jewelry and people can actually spot fakes a mile off, this is a definite down spiral for your social value.  A couple of well-chosen pieces work much better than a jewelry shop hanging round your neck.

In my experience, a great recipe for success is a high-end shirt, stylish trousers and a nice pair of shoes.  Many men overlook their footwear and that is a big mistake.  A door attendant can spot a dreamer instantly by their shoes; do not ever think about wearing track shoes, they are an instant disaster.  The price you pay for a good-looking set of shoes or some flash real boots will be well worth it, again fakes and replicas are a definite mistake.  Make sure everything fits properly, you would be amazed how many men cannot seem to get clothes to fit them right.  A bit more time spent in the shop can make an amazing difference if you get it right.  Again, dress for success and to impress the kind of person, whose attention you wish to attract.

One of the greatest ways of raising your social status value is to wear a decent watch.  What you will need to do in order to get your timepiece taken seriously is to invest in something much more upmarket.  A classic Rolex is hard to beat, but something from the Omega range will harvest similar praise.  Next is to choose your signature cologne and remember a little goes a lot further than bathing in it.  There is nothing worse than an overpowering scent that will strip paint off walls.  This is a basic thing to get right and spending more in the right store will get you sorted.  For some help in this read, http://davedlemere.blogspot.com/2010/10/playing-game-finding-your-signature.html.

If all else fails you can use an alternative entrance.  Now it might sound a bit crazy but my brother has balls as big as an elephant and if he cannot walk in through the front door, he will look for restaurant or backstage entrances.  He will then wait until staff slip out for a smoke and walk straight in, the secret is to not look suspicious and act as if you belong there and this is your normal routine.  Most bar staff do not care, I have even seen him walk up to the back entrance and knock on the door.  Once you are in blend in with the crowd and disappear.  By the way, do not get caught as the event can become embarrassing but it does work.

The major idea is to fit in and have confidence in your ability.  The fact is that confidence is the real key to gaining club entry, because if you combine that with the tips above then you'll have a much better chance of getting through the door and, more importantly, staying there.  Oh, and turning up with a bunch of male friends, especially if you have been drinking before hand is a bad idea.  Less is certainly more and while you'll be fine conveying an air of sophistication, if you're half-cut and mouthy your night will end quickly and you'll be on your way home in a cab long before you’ve had a chance to survey the talent.

BREAKDOWN OF THE SEDUCTION COMMUNITY

THE SEDUCTION COMMUNITY

       Within this community, there are several subsections.  The AFC, Average Frustrated Chump.  The nice person who has no social skills and rarely manages to attain any connection with their intended target, a person who tends to supplicate in their behavior to people they are attracted to by trying to buy their attention.  Meaning, buying flowers for a girl when just going out for coffee, putting the person they are attracted to on a pedestal, and generally letting others walk all over them in the vein hope of somehow being seen as attractive in their eyes. 

The next level who have managed to walk away from their caves and swap their clubs for a suave tongue are The PUA, Pick up artist.  A person with a reasonable amount of knowledge on the basics of seduction, they use canned material and setlines to persuade a person to pay attention to them.  These beings of evolution can be seen frequenting nightclubs, bars, and shopping malls.  On rare occasions, the more confident can be spotted moving around in populated areas such as beaches, colleges, and city streets.  They have experienced varied amounts of success and many have attended some form of information classes or lectures on the subject of picking up the opposite sex.  Giving them the confidence to walk up to, total strangers and use openers (set one liners) in an attempt to gain a phone number or kiss then they move onto the next chosen target and repeat the scenario.

The next are MPUAs, Master Pick Up Artist.  These are the most dangerous of this group, as they believe they have attained enough education to be able to teach others.  They seem to be overflowing with confidence and consider themselves AM, Alpha Males.  They have attended many lectures and classes on the subject of picking up the opposite sex and some believe they have developed a routine, which is far superior to the routines of others of their social class.  They have documented their success with pictures and videos.  They compete viciously with other MPUAs in an attempt to prove they are the best.  Some set up web sites, sell books on the subject, and organize educational meetings and social events.  They usually travel to social events with underlings to show how great their technique is and how irresistible they are to the opposite sex.  Many of these have pre-organized targets that melt on command in an attempt to prove their power and knowledge.  When this cannot be organized prior to the event, they will sit back and push others forward being content on informing them what they did wrong and what they could do to improve.  They are a vicious breed and usually treat the other sex as a trophy never acknowledging that these people have feelings.  Their targets are on most occasions being shallow people that lack self-confidence or models of beauty that are used to prove their superiority.  They are always quick to put down anyone that threatens their social standing.

At the top of the food chain of this social group is the SG, Seduction Guru, or Oracle.  These are the true masters, who have spent their life learning and understanding the techniques of seduction.  Their mere presence commands attention.  They will walk slowly into a room and in an instance understand the requirements of every person.  They have studied and mastered their many techniques and have mastered the three Cs, cool, calm, and in control.  They appear to succeed in every aspect of life with ease.  They shine with a blinding life force to which even MPUAs are held in awe.  They command respect but are modest in nature.  They share their knowledge with others not requiring monetary return or admiration they ask and need nothing.  They know who they are and are always improving their style of life.  They seem to charm all those around them at ease, as if they had a magical aura surrounding them.  They are seen as gods.

There are many codes used by the lower levels of this group to attain their separation from others outside the community.  The main ones are listed below:

HB- hot babes

Close- to finish with a successful conclusion

101- Turn on, turn off, and turn on in various sequences

AI- Approach Invitation, unconscious actions by an HB to get your specific attention

AMOG- Alpha Male Other Guy, in reference to a situation where you are trying to close on a HB and there is direct competition from another PUA.

BS-Bitch Shield, used to describe a behavior of women use when attempting to fend of would-be suitors.

Cockblock- When friends or family members intervene taking your target away or get your target disinterested in you

Crash & Burn- To attempt an approach/PU and fail miserably

IOI- Indicator of Interest - signs/signals from you or from the chick, which indicates real sexual interest.

Kino- Kinesthetic approach (physical touching).  Usually of a sexual nature, to get a woman in a state of approval and arousal.  Touching and stroking the side of her arm, her elbows, stroking her hair, cheeks, stroking her hand or wrist, etc.

Mental Masturbation- The concept that what you think is happening is really just a fantasy about what you want rather than the reality of what has occurred, is occurring, or will occur.

Neg- A negative remark towards a girl designed to break her indifference to you by showing her that you are indifferent to her looks.  It has not intended an insult, more like "Those are interesting nails - are they real?" or "It's really cute how your nose wiggles when you talk - look, there it goes again!  ".

Sarge- The act of explicitly going out and picking up women using pick-up and seduction techniques

            Now these are only a few of the terms used the can appear to go on forever.  It is similar to the creation of Modern English during the Industrial Revolution to give the appearance of separation of the newly formed middle class from the workers.  The one true connection this social group has is the endeavor of attracting the attention of the opposite sex.  The experience that is shared by this group compared to outsiders is that they seem to have a higher rate of success at forming a connection with their chosen target.  This group remained concealed from outsiders for centuries apart from the legends of  Lilith, Giacomo Girolamo Casanova and Don Juan, until it was infiltrated by a reporter, Neil Strauss who went on to document his adventures in a book called “The Game”.  This has been blamed for the fame now associated with PUAs.

            Through my association with the modern hierarchy of this group, I am often referred to as a Player, MPUA, PUA and Oracle, which often makes me laugh because I do not consider myself as being under any of these headings.  Although I do share my knowledge from growing up amongst a section of the world’s seduction community, I also enjoy “Playin The Game” and have an international non-profit company under this heading that teaches personal development and advance business social skills and I help others create their lifestyle businesses through advice and support.   I guess I enjoy being part of this social network/group for the friendship and fun of playing the game.  I have made great friends that are considered the leaders in this industry and have great respect for them but like all sub-cultures there are some that abuse the rules and they always end up being caught and are quickly separated and lose their social standing.

PLAYING THE GAME / ATTITUDE

HOW TO HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

So many men and woman when they are going out to attract other people have the attitude that they need to prove themselves to the other person.  They work on flash openers or make up a story about a life they have that just does not exist.  Others imitate attitudes displayed by actors in their favorite movies but that only makes them look fake, it is funny the first couple of times then it is carried on too far and just appears weird.  Now before we get into the attitudes that do work lets cancel out the ones that do not.

Lust - I cannot wait to get them home and show what a good lover I am!  Hey do not laugh many people men especially and some women go out with the one thought on their mind and that has to get the first person they see, whether they are attracted to them or not home and into bed.  Yes, it works my brother can tell you that, but is that all you want?  There is not art in this and has no value or rewards.  This is one of the attitudes that cause freeze time (not knowing what to say next) and creates, a hit and miss situation.

Despair – I have tried everything I hope this works!  Will you please talk to me?  Walk all over me I am so lonely.  Again, I can hear people laughing but everywhere I go I see people like this, grabbing the crumbs from the floor.  This attitude severely lowers your social standing and you will probably spend a fortune on drinks and still end up nowhere.

Anger – This better work I have done everything right, read all the right books, and spent hours watching DVDs.  Those people better treat me with respect and do what I tell them too or stay out of my way.  This world owes me a break.  This attitude will also lower your social value and alienate you from everyone.

Desperation – I have to make this work.  It is my last chance and my life is worthless without someone to love me.  This attitude keeps you on a permanent low and deep in quicksand with no hope of escape.

All these attitudes when allowed to rule who you are, destroy all the good.  They will shut down your thinking process and quickly diminish any positive energy you had and any chance you might have had to form a connection with anyone else.  They are like a black hole that sucks the energy out of your space and anyone that is exposed to you, socially alienating you, from the rest of the world that are around you.

Now the attitudes that can help you become the person you want to be, will make you glow, over flowing your positive energy into your space and the world around you, leaving everyone that comes in contact with you in a feeling of euphoria ( a intense feeling of great happiness or well being) .  Instead of feeling you have to prove something to them, it allows you to relax gain control of any given situation.  It truly puts you in control and allows you to enjoy the wonders and mysteries around you.

Playful – Go out with the attitude your there to have fun, tell jokes, laugh, dance, flirt for no apparent reason and enjoy meeting new people.  Leave everyone you meet feeling happy to have met you and talked to you.  Be the person others want to be and be around, and the first person that is invited to a party.

Learning – Be a good listener, take mental notes, and remember what people tell you.  Pay honest attention to what others are saying.  This turns the tables and allows you to be yourself and others the opportunity to show you that they have the qualities you are looking for, this in turn raises your social value and puts you in the position of being in control (alpha).  It gives you the opportunity to learn what others have to offer, allow you to be approached, and in turn increases your social skills.  Those around you have to meet your merits and standards removing the social pressure that is usually placed on you.

Indifference – What I mean by this is instead of putting all your energy into scoring that perfect 10, go out with the attitude to have fun.  Life is a game where the only rules are set by you and the only limits are your abilities.  So allow yourself the option to just walk away if things start to sour, do not get trapped into someone else's bad mood, stay in your zone.  This also eliminates any possible negatives and creates that fear of loss in others to the point that they will approach you.

Moderation – Have fun and enjoy the atmosphere around you.  Do not be overpowering as most of the time this is a big turnoff, be yourself.  All too often, I see people going overboard in what they do.  Trying to be too funny, cocky or over playing the clown and you see the reactions in the faces of those around them.  Also, do not get into power drinking games as when you get drunk you lose your edge.  Drink in moderation or drink soft-drink show that you can have fun and be responsible.

These four qualities will put you in a high social standing and build a good reputation, to which takes a long time to build yet seconds to destroy.  Also, surround yourself with positive people this will help raise your energy levels and help you to maintain them.  One lesson I have learnt so often if you stop looking for it, it will find you.  Now just remember your P.L.I.M. and have a ball.

PLAYING THE GAME / FINDING THE ZONE

FINDING THE ZONE

The arena of the game is very seductive; it is where we battle in single combat against ourselves.  It is a contest of champions: where empires hang in the balance and, once you enter the arena you decide whether to stand by and watch or be involved in the action - where you can emerge a god- or become the vanquished , so it is very understandable why it creates a great deal of anxiety.  Your zone refers to a place where you are able to perform at your best, sometimes referred to a state but for this purpose, I prefer zone because it gives you a destination to reach.

The elite PUA’s always try to perform at this level, but many people find it hard and when they do attain this level, it is nearly impossible for them to be able to retain focus.  Therefore, I will give you some pointers for getting into your zone and staying there.  There are four basic section to attaining your zone and each person finds their own path there differently but the basics are the same: Assessment, Preparation, Conduct and Implementation.

MOTIVATION and FOCUS to reach your goal your motivation must be pure, you have to visualize the outcome and decide for yourself, do I really want this?  To succeed at anything, you must work hard, be highly motivated, stay consistent, and have a solid focus on your goal.  The most powerful motivation is intrinsic - being or relating to a semiconductor in which the concentration of charge carriers is characteristic of the material itself instead of the content of any impurities it contains and comes from within, formed from the love of what you are doing.  To keep you motivation focused it is important that your target goals are yours, not your friends, your family or anyone else’s.  It has to be what you want most of all with no other outside influence.

Realize that when your motivation drops and your relationship with “Playing The Game” drifts, you cause a turbulence within.  Your self-esteem and your energy diminish slowly at first, then plummets with increasing speed, the harder you try to recover the quicker you sink.  This is the quicksand effect and nearly impossible to come back from, everything continues to go wrong no matter what you do, but it can be done and this I will talk about later.  To stay in the zone it is important to keep your motivation and focus pure.  That is why it is very important not to be a power drinker; this attitude is for when you are away from the public’s eye with your mates.  If you have to drink, do it in moderation although this will not impress your mates it does wonders for raising your social levels and they are important.

CONFIDENCE: To reach your zone your confidence level must be at its highest.  To do this you have to be prepared and be certain you have done what is required to reach your goal.  Do you look your best?  Is your home base prepared?  Have you decided how you are going to play the game?  Where are you going?  How are you getting their?  If you are, using props are they ready to go.  Have you researched your hunting ground?  Do you have sufficient funds with backup put away in a safe place?  Are you flying solo or do you have a wingman or woman?  Did you call them to make sure they are ready?  Make a checklist and cross off each one as it is completed.  All this helps, to be sure that you are ready to party and have a stress free fun time.  Because when you are having fun, the confidence will flow.  It is always important to have your confidence overflowing, this makes your aura glow giving off a positive outlook to others, and in turns affect the people you meet.  These positive interactions work to increase the flow of confidence working in a never-ending circle.  It is most important that you are as prepared as possible to keep this exchange and flow in continual motion.  How would you feel if someone came up to you before you even reach your destination and told you how good you look?  Instantly you are walking on air and feel like you own the world.

VISUALIZATION and RELAXATION: This is when you sit back and see in your mind how it will happen.  Be positive, sit back, and put on your favorite music, picture your perfect woman standing there looking you up and down .She walks up to you and you say the perfect opener, she smiles and replies.  Then you continue sweeping her off her feet making a connection.  While you are talking, you pause briefly to touch her hand or push back that piece of hair that fell across her face and she again smiles at you her eyes telling you you are the greatest thing that ever happened to her.  Asking about her life, you show honest interest and tell her small pieces about yourself.  Everything goes perfect.  Do this a couple of times with different scenarios so you are prepared for anything that might happen then sit back and think happy thoughts, slowing down your breathing and relax allow your mind to drift into a positive plan.  More than often, the reason, why people loss their zone is because they panic so by allowing time to relax this should be prevented also the airtime (those blank moments when you cannot think of anything to say) is eliminated, because you have gone over what you want to say beforehand.

Another good way of doing this is to use the rubber band technique.  Write down a scenario and then read it back a couple of times.  Let your mind drift and feel the feelings you get when you successfully completed a set.  Remember, those feelings of euphoria, how energy exploded through every part of your body, and you felt like you were a god.  Now get a rubber band, put on your wrist, read the story again, and let your mind drift experience the rush.  When the energy builds and reaches maximum levels, flick the rubber band.  Each time do the same thing read the story and remember the feeling now just before the flick calm your breathing and think of other ways that you could use and obtain the same if not a better result…do this several times.  Then just before you walk in your chosen venue snap the rubber band, remember that high, slow down your breathing, and relax still letting the feelings flood your mind and body.

Now before you go out and take on the world I have a bonus for you.  Have you ever heard of B.A.T.N.A. (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement), well this is used more commonly in business deals but works very effectively in playing the game.  It is the development of variable alternatives where your initial goal is but only one.  It is used as leverage, for it gives you the ability to just walk away.  That can be used to produce a fear of loss in your target and if timed right (on a high point in the contact) it creates a situation where she will now want to follow and be with you, not wanting to lose that feeling and connection.  It will take practice to recognize when you are in this position but when you do it becomes a very powerful tool. 

You will also find with practice that you do not even have to physically walk away.  Sometimes it is enough merely to change your attention from them to another person.  This then, forces them to compete for your attention.  Placing them in a situation where they have to impress you.  Increasing your social value, you instantly transform from the hunter to the trophy.  However, be careful because as I said it becomes a powerful tool, and has been known to create God complexes.

PLAYING THE GAME / THE MASTER'S SECRETS

SECRETS REVEALED

Now, I will reveal to you the secret of the MASTERS.  The one main thing that separates the creators from the watchers is ************ CONFIDENCE************** It is the one thing that sets the Masters on a podium staring down on those that think it is impossible.  Nothing is impossible; you just have to break things down into smaller jobs and then face each one as a stepping-stone to the next.  As you attempt each one, look at the positive aspects of what you did and expand on them.  Then before you know it your running down hill jumping over any obstacles that remain, at top speed and crossing the finish line, to the cheers of all those around you.

The best way to build confidence is to surround yourself with positive influences.  Friends, family, and the people you associate with all have an affect on how you deal with life’s obstacles and this in turn decides your level of confidence.  When you are surrounded by negative people, whose favorite word is “can’t,” then your confident level goes down.  Whereas if you are around people that push you to succeed though repeating the task, and helping you by pointing out your positive achievements with each attempt .Then with each attempt your confidence rises and success is inevitable.  This positive aspect is something that with a short amount of time you learn to do for yourself, no longer needing the recognition of others.  Confidence is generally described as a state of being.  The first task to do, is slow down do not rush into things.  Everything will come into place if you do not force it.  When you hurry, things compact together and appear larger than they really are.  Your mind goes into a panic mode and your body becomes tense and clumsy.  Again, if you look at any of the seduction masters, they all follow the three C’s.  ************COOL CALM and in CONTROL*********

Wherever they are, they appear to own their space and control the spaces around them.  They do not set time limits or try to make themselves fit into others schedules.  If you have ever fired a rifle, you can relate to what I am saying.  When hunting most of your time is spend watching and listening, then when you eye your chosen target you relax take aim then when everything falls into place you fire.  Giving it your best try and if by some chance the target eludes you.  You remember everything you did right and try again improving on your last attempt.  Well life is very similar if you rush in your more likely to stumble.  One idea I heard and thought was fantastic was to put a handful of coins in each pocket and walk.  If you hear, the coins jingle you are walking to fast and in time, you learn to slow everything down.  Amazingly, you begin to do things faster with more accuracy, the mistakes you made before disappear, and your confidence level rises.  This is because you no longer have to exert as much energy to reach your goal.  It appears easier so you are no longer afraid to try.

At times, I find it very educational to sit back and watch others, seeing how people react to different situations.  I even completed a study of wild horses, documenting how they react in the wild.  From these studies, I learnt a lot about human behaviors.  How people, women in particular relate to others entering the space (environment).  If another being raced in acting loud and threatening they automatically went into defense referred to as the flight mode.  They become restless, scared ready to run at a moment’s notice, if the danger continues to move closer.  Where as if the being strolled in showing little interest but still keeping open to interaction (showing interest without being forceful).  Then the initial feelings change to one of curiosity, to where instead of fleeing they welcomed interaction.  This same scenario happens everywhere, people are always in too much of a hurry to get things done, and they miss the enjoyment of interaction and are unable to make a connection.  This all happens within a minutes of the initial meeting, yet is one of the most important parts of the game.  Once you can constantly make that initial connection you relax and your confidence and social value skyrockets.

The next step is the conversation, the biggest mistake made here is people become robotic shooting off a series of simple questions one after the next:

 Do you come here often?

 Can I buy you a drink?

 What do you do for fun?

 Do you have a boy friend?

Sometimes it appears like they are speed dating.

These things have been said a million times before and they will probably hear at least once a day.  This is where you have to be inventive and show honest interest in what they are saying, keep the connection going.  You must learn to flirt, behave carelessly or indifferently.  The art of flirting is not as difficult to master as some make it seem.

Here are a few starters to get you going if not put you on top:

1) Have fun with it, be relaxed.  Do not put pressure on yourself to go up to someone at a party, bar or anywhere else with the assumption that you are going to make them fall madly and passionately in love with you.

2) To get yourself in the right state of mind, think happy playful thoughts.  Flirting is a playful child like game, have fun, and be cheeky, naughty, and cocky.

3) Make eye contact but do not stare, as it will freak her out, infrequent two second looks is sufficient.  Do not wink at someone you have not connected with as it could scare them and will give away your game.

4) Don’t forget to smile, smiling makes your eyes twinkle helping you appear more attractive and helps relax those around you.[BR] Practice smiling in the mirror ,think of something funny .  A true smile lights up your whole face and curls both the sides of your mouth upwards, people can quickly tell if you are faking.

5) Don’t use age-old pickup lines they have been overused and worn out e.g. your dad must have been an astronaut because he took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.  Girls hear these lines every day, if you have to use a pickup line, invent some of your own, and be original.

6) Be confident, this means to have a relaxed stance and remember your as good as anyone else in the room.  You need to be seen as the person that others are drawn to, and want to party with and have a good time.

7) Developed a connection, this should occur within the first couple of minutes.  Try to find a common interest that you both enjoy.

8) Don’t make sexual comments to someone you just met, people will think your crude and it will give your game away.

9) After your initial connection remember your keno (light brushing touches on the hand, arm, shoulder, and small of the back) and lower your voice to draw them closer into your zone.  Lean slightly towards them as you talk, then back slightly away to encourage them to subconsciously, enter your zone.  If you are sitting opposite them at a table, lightly brush their leg with your foot then as if you did this completely by accident laugh and apologies.  Then shuffle your chair around closer to the explaining that you do not want to accidently kick them.

10) Don’t take yourself too seriously, if you are being cheeky to them you must allow them to be able to play along.  It shows strong character if you are able to laugh at yourself.

 11) Pay honest attention and interest to what they are saying, do not start a set with them, and then make it obvious that you are looking around the room for your next target

PLAYING THE GAME / SETTING UP YOUR PAD part 2

HOW TO GET YOUR PAD TO PLAYER STANDARD-part 2

Now "Hopefully" we have realized that your pad is an extension of you, where you are at, and where you are going.  So now we have to bring the pad up to where you are now .With the new and improved you, it is required a new and improved pad the best way to do this is go modern.  The main word in a modern bachelor pad is “MINIMALISM.”  Minimalism describes movements in various forms of art and design, especially visual art and music, where the work is stripped down to its most fundamental features.  This works well into a modern bachelor pad because it allows smaller places to appear a lot larger with plenty of room for movement and is easy to maintain.  For the living / social room the first item you need is a lounge sofa.  Throw the budget out for this one because it is the centrepiece of the whole house.  Do not go for the overstuffed version that appear comfortable because they are not, look for the more modern sleek style with enough room for friends at super bowl time from here you will pick decor that will orbit around it and some minimalist pieces that can be moved from room to room when required.  The main code to choosing furniture should be comfort, and this should be upmost in your mind.

When people begin to decide about decorating or changing a room they think of colors.  Generally, they will choose colors they are partial to or of which correspond to pieces of furniture.  When searching for ideas to decorate a bachelor pad.  One idea, which is nearly always overlooked, is to decorate with two basic colors black and white.

Black and white when used in decorating creates pizzazz.  Every room can use a little black, black is a color that anchors and grounds a room.  Adding sophistication, black is definitely a color that demands attention.  Black works to add definition to the room’s focal point.  Ideas for decorating a room using black may include accessories such as light fixtures, trim, or furniture.  Black is definitely one color that stands out and makes a statement.

With that said, we should now look at some pieces, which are essential to designing a pad that will be the place to be every Saturday night.



Living room

2224 Modern Contemporary Black Sectional Sofa

$1,795.00

Colton Entertainment Center

$293:00

Fine Quality High End Wedding Anniversary Gifts - 34" Japanese Mini Liquor Cabinet Wine Bar

$699:00

Faux Sheepskin Area Rug

$199:00

Sumo lounge Omni

$145:00

KITCHEN

Custom Kitchens by Small bone of Devises

BATHROOM

Some ideas from ISH Frankfurt 2009 exhibition.  Mirroring the whole wall makes up the bathroom so space full.

BEDROOM

socket site.com



Just to give and you an idea to start on …

When designing a modern interior, you should always look to the future.  The pieces should be moveable and blend in with any room, without sacrificing comfort or style.  Most importantly, they should have masculine qualities yet retain the sleek modern appeal.  This combination will give it its power, sexuality, and youthful charm.  The traits well related to millionaire playboys. 

Always have your pad as close as possible to the popular haunts, bars, shopping areas and launderette.