LEARN TO BE A PLAYER

LEARN TO BE A PLAYER

THE GAME IS NOT ABOUT RUNNING SCRIPTS.  THESE ARE GOOD FOR BEGINNERS, ALTHOUGH  IT WOULD BE A LOT EASIER IF YOU COULD PLAN A CONVERSATION FROM A –Z BUT IT JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN AND WITH EVERYONE OUT THERE NOW USING ONE LINERS ITS NO LONGER AN ADVANTAGE.  YOU NEED TO DEVELOP THE SKILLS THAT PUTS YOU ABOVE THE REST AND MAKES YOU A MASTER OF EVERY SITUATION.

So let us escape the computer-generated conversations and away from all that theories on what you have to do to form a connection.  To make a difference in your life you need to find out who you are and what you really want.  Let us work on the skills that you already have and will make you stand out in the crowd so others want to form a connection with you.  Social value is the secret, it is the importance others place on you.  The higher social value the more popular you will be and the more fun you will have.

The first thing you need to learn is “active listening”.  This is where you learn to analyze what others are actually saying.  You do this by noticing their body language:

1. Do they keep eye contact- shows if they are interested in the conversation
2. Are they fidgeting- un-interested looking for an escape
3. Is their laughter real- fake laughter is used to tell people to go away
4. Are they displaying grooming characteristics- this gives off many unspoken messages that an experience person can interpret and use to their advantage ( light brush of the hair , touching of the chin, loosening or correcting of clothing are signs of attraction)

The secret is not to rely on a few observations but instead combine this with what is being said.  The code is there and is simple once you learn the basics.  However, this is only a start and not the total of active listening, active listening is to be truly interested in what your target is saying and finding the connection with this that draws you closer to them.  Keep your comments in the beginning short and to the point.  Learn what excites them by watching their eyes as the conversation progress.  When they are on a subject they really find interesting their pupils will enlarge. This is referred to as having stars in their eyes, as the light will reflect off their pupils giving a gleaming appearance.  Make your comments count, its great to have intelligent things to say but if it’s irrelevant to the conversation and the person you’re speaking to, then you’re likely to bore them and lose the connection you have worked so hard to form.  Do not appear desperate or lost in their conversation as this will lower your social value and raise theirs making the need for you to work harder.  Let them try to impress you and fight for your attention not the other way round.  Do not be rude if you must use a negative comment to take control of the situation be playful.  This is a game so have fun with it.

Respond to what and how they say things copy their reactions but do not mimic them, unless it is very playful and flirty in an attempt to guide the conversation in a direction you want it to go.  Again only part of how we communicate is through the words we say, the rest of how a person is feeling is communicated through their body language, and tone, and pitch of voice.  Ok for an example - you start taking to a girl about today’s fashion and how it has changed over the years (a topic that is stereotyped as something girls are interested in) during the conversation she noticeably shortens her answers to you, she constantly looks away and her voice seems tenser, this is a solid indication that it’s time to change topic. Likewise if you stumble across a topic you think would bore her sports, cars, or the camping trip you went on last weekend  and her eyes light up, then you can throw the rule book out of the window, and chat to her about this as you’ve obviously hit on a topic which forms a connection.  Although I always tell guys to read girls magazines to give them an idea of what’s in and what’s out and vice versa.  Another important factor, is when you are talking to them, talk to them.  This may sound funny but I watch as many people are talking to someone while they are checking out the room for the next target.  This to me is my opening and I step in and steal them away, right from under the other person’s nose.

Always notice how they respond to you and what you say.  Are they interested in your comments or do you briefly lose them every time you open your mouth, another point is the initial conversation, now let’s say that you have this cheeky and funny one liner and it always seems to crack people up.  So you walk up to a person you are interested in and use it as your opener.  Unlike all the others, they just stare at you and pull a sour expression.  Do you poke them in the ribs, with a wink, and say funny ha!  or do you realize your mistake and quickly change the subject as this line just isn’t going to work in this situation or do you shut up and blend back into the shadows and escape.  This is an eternal question that requires quick thinking to gain control. My advice would be the second.  Spot the mistakes do some correcting and move on.  Never dwell on negatives as the object is to portray the positive aspects of your character.  At the end of the day, you want the positive aspects of your character to stay on their mind.  As this is what will form a connection with them not the one-liners that they will hear over and over again.  The reason these once worked is because they were original now every man and his monkey uses them.

So learning lines, routines, and rules for dating is now outdated.  Great dating and seduction is not found from the computer-generated garble; but rather in your ability to quickly connect with people in that first moment of interaction.  You cannot run the risk of stereotyping or generalizing people, people react best when you learn how to relate to them as individuals and they will respect you more when you are yourself.  Failure comes from trying to hard the secret to success is the three Cs. ( Cool, Calm and in Control)

TIPS FOR GETTING INTO EXCLUSIVE CLUBS

GETTING INTO EXCLUSIVE CLUBS

Walking past any top night club late at night and you'll see long lines of hopeful clubbers trying to get lucky and gain entry into the nightspots that are extremely difficult to enter unless you're in the know, beautiful and famous or both.  The key is to always turn up early, most people wait until party hour to hit the streets but this is a big mistake unless your part of the in crowd and if you are, why are you reading this article.  The secret is to get there early talk to the door staff and form a connection.  By making, a great impression on them doubles your chances of getting back in later.  In addition, make friends with the bar staff, always drink the same drink so they get to know you and tip big.  This will always get their attention and will help later that night when everyone is shuffling for drinks they will remember you and rush to serve you in hopes of another big tip.  How impressive is walking, up to a full bar and nodding to a person behind the bar and instantly receive your drink, immediately everyone turns to you and wonders whom this mysterious person could be. 

Then a few hours before rush time tell them you need to go but you will be back and could they let you back in when they get there.  It also helps to look the part.  Take notice of who gets in and how these people dress and act as this will be beneficial when deciding your look.  Most nightclubs have a set theme for their patrons and if you can fit this theme, your chances of getting in increase highly.  You need to be sure that your look turned out perfectly, so that when the muscle-bound person on the door gives you a once over he will not ignore you and let someone behind you in.  This again is why you need to get to know the door personal; most people who stand in lines do not get in.  If possible, organize with them to allow you to walk past the line, straight up to the door and gain entry this pushes up your social value.  Social value is how others score you and adds to your attractive attributes.  Never openly tip a door personas this works against you to others, what you is for others to see you gain entry in front of the common crowd.

Preparation is the secret to success when you roll up at the exclusive club of your dreams, so give yourself an ample amount of time to prepare rather than racing home from work and slapping on any old garb before racing out the door.  Think strongly on what persona you wish to express and dress to impress those you wish to attract.  Shower and groom properly, make sure you have whiter than white smile as this will improve your looks.  A decent tan with well-manicured hands will complement that nicely (http://davedlemere.blogspot.com/2010/09/playing-game-male-grooming.html).  Wearing the right trinkets can also make a big difference on how a door attendant will perceive you.  That means you can forget the replica rings, tacky piercings and earrings unless the rocks in them are the real thing.  There is nothing worse than cheap-looking jewelry and people can actually spot fakes a mile off, this is a definite down spiral for your social value.  A couple of well-chosen pieces work much better than a jewelry shop hanging round your neck.

In my experience, a great recipe for success is a high-end shirt, stylish trousers and a nice pair of shoes.  Many men overlook their footwear and that is a big mistake.  A door attendant can spot a dreamer instantly by their shoes; do not ever think about wearing track shoes, they are an instant disaster.  The price you pay for a good-looking set of shoes or some flash real boots will be well worth it, again fakes and replicas are a definite mistake.  Make sure everything fits properly, you would be amazed how many men cannot seem to get clothes to fit them right.  A bit more time spent in the shop can make an amazing difference if you get it right.  Again, dress for success and to impress the kind of person, whose attention you wish to attract.

One of the greatest ways of raising your social status value is to wear a decent watch.  What you will need to do in order to get your timepiece taken seriously is to invest in something much more upmarket.  A classic Rolex is hard to beat, but something from the Omega range will harvest similar praise.  Next is to choose your signature cologne and remember a little goes a lot further than bathing in it.  There is nothing worse than an overpowering scent that will strip paint off walls.  This is a basic thing to get right and spending more in the right store will get you sorted.  For some help in this read, http://davedlemere.blogspot.com/2010/10/playing-game-finding-your-signature.html.

If all else fails you can use an alternative entrance.  Now it might sound a bit crazy but my brother has balls as big as an elephant and if he cannot walk in through the front door, he will look for restaurant or backstage entrances.  He will then wait until staff slip out for a smoke and walk straight in, the secret is to not look suspicious and act as if you belong there and this is your normal routine.  Most bar staff do not care, I have even seen him walk up to the back entrance and knock on the door.  Once you are in blend in with the crowd and disappear.  By the way, do not get caught as the event can become embarrassing but it does work.

The major idea is to fit in and have confidence in your ability.  The fact is that confidence is the real key to gaining club entry, because if you combine that with the tips above then you'll have a much better chance of getting through the door and, more importantly, staying there.  Oh, and turning up with a bunch of male friends, especially if you have been drinking before hand is a bad idea.  Less is certainly more and while you'll be fine conveying an air of sophistication, if you're half-cut and mouthy your night will end quickly and you'll be on your way home in a cab long before you’ve had a chance to survey the talent.

BREAKDOWN OF THE SEDUCTION COMMUNITY

THE SEDUCTION COMMUNITY

       Within this community, there are several subsections.  The AFC, Average Frustrated Chump.  The nice person who has no social skills and rarely manages to attain any connection with their intended target, a person who tends to supplicate in their behavior to people they are attracted to by trying to buy their attention.  Meaning, buying flowers for a girl when just going out for coffee, putting the person they are attracted to on a pedestal, and generally letting others walk all over them in the vein hope of somehow being seen as attractive in their eyes. 

The next level who have managed to walk away from their caves and swap their clubs for a suave tongue are The PUA, Pick up artist.  A person with a reasonable amount of knowledge on the basics of seduction, they use canned material and setlines to persuade a person to pay attention to them.  These beings of evolution can be seen frequenting nightclubs, bars, and shopping malls.  On rare occasions, the more confident can be spotted moving around in populated areas such as beaches, colleges, and city streets.  They have experienced varied amounts of success and many have attended some form of information classes or lectures on the subject of picking up the opposite sex.  Giving them the confidence to walk up to, total strangers and use openers (set one liners) in an attempt to gain a phone number or kiss then they move onto the next chosen target and repeat the scenario.

The next are MPUAs, Master Pick Up Artist.  These are the most dangerous of this group, as they believe they have attained enough education to be able to teach others.  They seem to be overflowing with confidence and consider themselves AM, Alpha Males.  They have attended many lectures and classes on the subject of picking up the opposite sex and some believe they have developed a routine, which is far superior to the routines of others of their social class.  They have documented their success with pictures and videos.  They compete viciously with other MPUAs in an attempt to prove they are the best.  Some set up web sites, sell books on the subject, and organize educational meetings and social events.  They usually travel to social events with underlings to show how great their technique is and how irresistible they are to the opposite sex.  Many of these have pre-organized targets that melt on command in an attempt to prove their power and knowledge.  When this cannot be organized prior to the event, they will sit back and push others forward being content on informing them what they did wrong and what they could do to improve.  They are a vicious breed and usually treat the other sex as a trophy never acknowledging that these people have feelings.  Their targets are on most occasions being shallow people that lack self-confidence or models of beauty that are used to prove their superiority.  They are always quick to put down anyone that threatens their social standing.

At the top of the food chain of this social group is the SG, Seduction Guru, or Oracle.  These are the true masters, who have spent their life learning and understanding the techniques of seduction.  Their mere presence commands attention.  They will walk slowly into a room and in an instance understand the requirements of every person.  They have studied and mastered their many techniques and have mastered the three Cs, cool, calm, and in control.  They appear to succeed in every aspect of life with ease.  They shine with a blinding life force to which even MPUAs are held in awe.  They command respect but are modest in nature.  They share their knowledge with others not requiring monetary return or admiration they ask and need nothing.  They know who they are and are always improving their style of life.  They seem to charm all those around them at ease, as if they had a magical aura surrounding them.  They are seen as gods.

There are many codes used by the lower levels of this group to attain their separation from others outside the community.  The main ones are listed below:

HB- hot babes

Close- to finish with a successful conclusion

101- Turn on, turn off, and turn on in various sequences

AI- Approach Invitation, unconscious actions by an HB to get your specific attention

AMOG- Alpha Male Other Guy, in reference to a situation where you are trying to close on a HB and there is direct competition from another PUA.

BS-Bitch Shield, used to describe a behavior of women use when attempting to fend of would-be suitors.

Cockblock- When friends or family members intervene taking your target away or get your target disinterested in you

Crash & Burn- To attempt an approach/PU and fail miserably

IOI- Indicator of Interest - signs/signals from you or from the chick, which indicates real sexual interest.

Kino- Kinesthetic approach (physical touching).  Usually of a sexual nature, to get a woman in a state of approval and arousal.  Touching and stroking the side of her arm, her elbows, stroking her hair, cheeks, stroking her hand or wrist, etc.

Mental Masturbation- The concept that what you think is happening is really just a fantasy about what you want rather than the reality of what has occurred, is occurring, or will occur.

Neg- A negative remark towards a girl designed to break her indifference to you by showing her that you are indifferent to her looks.  It has not intended an insult, more like "Those are interesting nails - are they real?" or "It's really cute how your nose wiggles when you talk - look, there it goes again!  ".

Sarge- The act of explicitly going out and picking up women using pick-up and seduction techniques

            Now these are only a few of the terms used the can appear to go on forever.  It is similar to the creation of Modern English during the Industrial Revolution to give the appearance of separation of the newly formed middle class from the workers.  The one true connection this social group has is the endeavor of attracting the attention of the opposite sex.  The experience that is shared by this group compared to outsiders is that they seem to have a higher rate of success at forming a connection with their chosen target.  This group remained concealed from outsiders for centuries apart from the legends of  Lilith, Giacomo Girolamo Casanova and Don Juan, until it was infiltrated by a reporter, Neil Strauss who went on to document his adventures in a book called “The Game”.  This has been blamed for the fame now associated with PUAs.

            Through my association with the modern hierarchy of this group, I am often referred to as a Player, MPUA, PUA and Oracle, which often makes me laugh because I do not consider myself as being under any of these headings.  Although I do share my knowledge from growing up amongst a section of the world’s seduction community, I also enjoy “Playin The Game” and have an international non-profit company under this heading that teaches personal development and advance business social skills and I help others create their lifestyle businesses through advice and support.   I guess I enjoy being part of this social network/group for the friendship and fun of playing the game.  I have made great friends that are considered the leaders in this industry and have great respect for them but like all sub-cultures there are some that abuse the rules and they always end up being caught and are quickly separated and lose their social standing.